The Queen and Her Plastic Dundees

Ren Faire people REEEEAAAALLY bug me. Historically inaccurate, horrible jokes, and the guy in a lepard-print leotard, poofy hair, and shitty attitude who teaches knife throwing, believes strongly that he has the right to hit on your hot ass girlfriend in front of you. hehe. The latter is more amusing than offensive by far. Yet still, you can walk into a Ren Faire and see over hundreds of years of clothing fashion within three feet of each other. Pick an era!! Oh, and the knight with Rebok tennis shoes is tres fab! I do like the royal court, though they are always at a distance but seem accurate enough. But, I swear to fuck, if another "fairy" jumps out of the bushes at me, I'll squash it. Every damn time...

I mainly go there for the merchandise, musicians, belly dancers, stage performers, and blacksmiths. Ya know, the people with actual talent that outweighs the bad English accents. Yet, I do hold a soft spot for the Klingons, Vulcans, ultra-goths, medevel goths, and other retards without shame that just visit. I do enjoy also the fact that I am able to drink from one end to the other before noon. The stage performers also seem to provide much opium and casual sex if you're groovey enough. There's even been the rare event of an absinthe bottle or two if you feed them after the spectators go home. Talent rocks.

However, its a shame if you point out a plastic ringlet on a scabbard or work boots on a pikeman, for you are labeled a "Accuracy Nazi". There's also a rivalry between the "Professionals" and the "Weekend Warriors". Well, excuse those who have a home and a job!! I mean, we must applaud those who recieve their 20$ a weekend and have to rely on handjobs for extra cash! hehee. Perhaps the Ren Faire isn't all that bad outside of scholarly debate and historical accuracy, but damn....get a clue, people.